Friday, March 7, 2014

Saying Goodbye to Pregnancy

Posted by Tara

If you don't know already, I have 5 kids: 4 boys and 1 girl. They range from 9 years old down to 2 years old. I love each and every one of them more than I can say. Normally I would be pregnant again by now, and since I'm not, I'm assuming we are done. Seth and I both love having a big family, but adding another to the mix right now feels overwhelming for us.

When I first started having babies, I never thought this stage in life would come to an end. It seemed like I was always going to be bearing children. (I was pregnant for 5 years straight and then spaced the last 2 out). Now that it's here, it's a lot harder moving on than I thought it was going to be.

The other day my husband took down the crib. Our crib has always been up because there was always a baby sleeping in it! As I watched him take it down, tears built up in my eyes and my heart just ached. There will never be another baby of ours in that crib. I won't have another opportunity to go get a happy baby that has just woken up out of that crib or lay a sleepy one down in it. I quickly left the room before my husband saw the tears and went to the kitchen to try to get it together! He came in and was puzzled as to why I was crying. I told him that I have always been good at getting pregnant and having newborn babies, what am I going to be good at now if we are done?!

He quickly reminded me that I'll be good at raising them. And I think sometimes as mothers we worry so much about building a family we forget to build hobbies and interests for ourselves. When our kids no longer demand so much of our time, what do we do then? I have a few things that I enjoy and as my kids get older I suppose I will be able to focus more time on them as well as on the kids I have. I know as they get bigger we will be able to go and do more things that we couldn't when we had babies around.

We recently took the older 4 to Disneyland and as much as I missed the youngest (2 year old) I was so much more relaxed because I didn't have to worry about nap time or diaper changes while at the park. We could go to bed super late and wake up early and we never had a fussy baby to deal with. I look forward to when he gets older and we can take all five kids and everyone is old enough to ride all of the rides and stay for the late shows.

I love how my purses turn into diaper bags, but I look forward to when no one is in diapers or potty training and we don't have to take extra undies or diapers everywhere we go. It will be nice to not have to budget for diapers and wipes for the month as well. There are definitely some perks to being done.

Don't get me wrong, the reason I'm okay with my purse carrying trash and always having snacks in it for the younger ones is because I know this will only last for so long. It makes me sad how FAST kids grow. I try to cherish everything, because before I know it, my oldest will be moving out and I'll have all teenagers.

This next fall my fourth child will be starting school which means I get to spend everyday with this guy, just me and him. I really look forward to having more one on one time with him while the others are at school. He is such a busy kid, so I know I will have plenty to do! I want to cherish this last precious child at home.

Will I miss being pregnant? That's a question I often ask myself. I won't miss morning sickness or gaining an insane amount of weight that I have to lose. But I'll miss feeling a baby move inside me. I'll miss having a newborn. I'll miss witnessing their first milestones and their little smiles and giggles.

In the end, I know this baby stage has to end sooner or later, but it is just so hard to see it go. I will hold on to all of my memories of these sweet babies and work hard to appreciate each moment I have with them, one day and one stage at a time. I am so grateful for these wonderful little people in my life and I will be thankful that I get to watch them flourish and grow. But don't begrudge me a mama's tear or two along the way. ;)

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At March 7, 2014 at 8:33 AM , Blogger Tenns Reid said...

I just started having kids, I only have one right now. My husband and I plan to have more, but in due time. We are still trying to wrap our heads around parenting the one we have. I had a good pregnancy and my little boy is an awesome baby. I'm excited to have more, but its also a little daunting. I don't know when we'll be done, God-willing, but when we are I'm sure I'll feel the same way as you. :-)

Tenns @ New Mama Diaries

At March 7, 2014 at 9:14 AM , Blogger Tara and Devin said...

Having lots of kids is wonderful! Enjoy welcoming each and every one of them into your home and lives. Babies are precious and grow so quickly, cherish it! Thanks for stopping by Tenns!!

At March 7, 2014 at 2:51 PM , Blogger MonikaC said...

Tara, this is by far my favorite blog post by you! I've never had more than one kid at home full time, and I love the one on one time. You will have a great time!

At March 7, 2014 at 3:19 PM , Blogger Jenna said...

I am absolutely terrified to be done! I will feel the same as you are. My kids are my best buds, and so is my husband. I am just afraid of them not wanting me so much anymore! But at the same time I do get frustraded when I am trying to get something done and all I hear is "MOMMMM!" Isn't it funny how that works, I am sending my oldest to kinder in the fall and I don't feel "cool" enough to have a kid in school. I feel like I JUST got out of high school still- just with 3 kids though! hahaha

At March 7, 2014 at 4:59 PM , Blogger dannyscotland said...

You made me cry. I completely understand everything you are expressing. I have just two girls, and we do not plan to have any more children. Knowing that I won't have any more babies is hard, especially when I still have friends who are getting pregnant and having babies. But for me, I know this is right. I know that I can't handle more than what I have, and I want to be the best mom to them that I can. I know that for me, if I stretch myself out too much more, I just won't be a good mom. I am a very high-stress person, so having a 2 year old who is the same way is very hard. I work constantly on not losing my patience, or my temper, and that's why I know I'm done. But oh, I loved being pregnant!

At March 7, 2014 at 5:02 PM , Anonymous Erin @ Strawberry Mommycakes said...

I have been debating having another one (I know, I only have two...but they're crazy kids!) I just get so sad when I think I'm done...and then someone poops their pants and I question my sanity ;) Love this post! You're an amazing mom!

At March 7, 2014 at 10:41 PM , Blogger Kassie said...

Found your blog when I was looking for valentines to make. Love what you guys are doing here.
This post really resonated with me today. My baby just turned 3 last week and although I've got 9 kids who are much more spread out over more years than hours I am in the same boat with you. I thought I was done after #6 but someone had other plans and 3 more little boys came to join our family.
I feel excited thinking that at some point in the near future they all potty alone, bathe themselves, dress themselves and do their own homework. I am wondering what I will fill my time with, what will I choose to do. There are so many choices open.
But there is a bit of sadness realizing this part of my life is over. I have loved being a mommy to many and plan to cherish the time I have left before the last ones fly away.

At March 8, 2014 at 3:51 AM , Blogger Themendezwolfpack said...

This is Beautiful!!! It's like you spoke for me.I feel exactly the same way. Hi my name Evelyn mom to 6 children mines are spaced out differently 18,16,11,6,3,1 and after the last one we decided to close the factory down i went threw so many emotions still do. You described how i feel word for word. Thank you for sharing your experience Im sure you have made so many mommas cry like you made me…. This post so far the best i have ever read.

At March 9, 2014 at 10:06 AM , Blogger Carbonneau said...

"I told him that I have always been good at getting pregnant and having newborn babies, what am I going to be good at now if we are done?! " i feel ya! I have a lot to do...but ending a magnificent chapter/putting down your favorite book, is so hard!!

At October 12, 2015 at 1:03 PM , Blogger shawna3727 said...

I have recently found your blog and I love it! This post brings back a lot of bittersweet memories for me! I have three children and when my youngest turned two it was hard for me! I had never had a two year old without a new one on the way. It was difficult to realize I may never have another child. Another child wasn't in God's plan for me. My husband and I were trying for my fourth (his first) when I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Breast Cancer at the age of 35. I have since given up both breasts and both ovaries... no more babies in my future! BUT God knew what he was doing! I have been able to enjoy my children so much more than I would've if I'd had another baby! For every season of our lives- GOD does provide! Bless you and your family.


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